Trip over the word “ataraxis” in a sentence and you’ll probably fall on it. And if you do one of those sharp letters is gonna stab you right in the liver. As your life’s blood seeps out into the paragraph below you will have time to think, “What kind of person uses a word like ataraxis anyway?”
Then, and only then, having vented your spleen and most of your bodily fluids, you will be overcome by a wonderful feeling of peace. Which is fitting because that’s what ataraxis means — a state of serene calmness.
Which is where it all falls apart for me. I mean really. Is NOBODY in charge around here? ATARAXIS? Just say it out loud. Pronouncing this word is like somebody putting a crystal vase in your mouth and then slamming you in the face with a tire iron. ATARAXIS? This is not a peaceful sounding world.
Watch.
It’s the end of a long day. We’re in a rich lady’s bathroom. And as she’s sliding into the fabled, proverbial and otherwise cliche’d bathtub — as the nearly scalding water releases every inch of tension from her body — as it all slips away, she gives voice to the wonderful feeling of peace that has overcome her by sighing, “Ataraxis.”
No she does not.
You know what Ataraxis should be good for? Let’s say, you’re down upon a defenseless village. And next to you are a couple of screaming, half-naked guys with blue paint on their skin and hate in their hearts. And next to them there are a bunch more guys wielding torches and warhammers and swords. The rape and the pillage knobs are turned up to 11.
But everybody’s waiting for you to give the signal, because you’re in charge. And you need to let them know that you want them to destroy this village so utterly that no other village on the face of this earth will ever think about resisting you. To do this you need a word. A really good word. Do you cry Havoc? Nah, you throw back your head and in the raspy voice of a man who’s thirst can only be slaked by the blood of the vanquished you cry ATARAXIS!
That’s what ataraxis should be good for.
But it’s not. Ataraxis is spelled like it sounds, but, sadly, it’s not meant like it sounds. It sure does sound badass doesn’t it? So it’s easy to see why it’s a word Patrick likes.
