I love XKCD. And the guy who does XKCD recently had some illness in the family, which makes anyone reevaluate things. I wish him and his all the best and am sorry for his troubles. But his recent comic touches a on a very important point. In the broad choice between science and religion you don’t go…
An Open Letter to Terry Pratchett (11 reasons to allow Americans into your contest)
So Sir Terry Pratchett is having a contest for unpublished novels, but you can’t enter if you live in the U.S. This sucks. Especially for me. Because How to Succeed in Evil is an unpublished satire/parody that uses the superhero genre in a similar way that Sir Terry uses the genre of fantasy. He doesn’t…
Most Companies Market Like 17-year-old Boys Trying to get Laid.
I spent (wasted) an hour last night writing an email about a creative brief. For those not inflicted with the dubious and scattered discipline of corporate communications and advertising, that is a document that summarizes who you are talking to and what you are trying to say. A strategy for communications, if you will. But…
Unkillable Available for Sale (audio and e-book versions)
Buy the complete audio book at CDBABY.com Or get an ebook at Smashwords or Amazon
Lifehacker Likes Me. The Feeling is Mutual.
I’ve been getting a daily dose of productivity pr0n from Lifehacker for years. Taken altogether, the tidbits I’ve picked up there have saved me at least a month of time. Most recently, the the use of Simplenote for plain text capture and synchronization across machines and handheld devices. http://lifehacker.com/5584924/the-holy-grail-of-ubiquitous-plain+text-capture Now they’ve seen fit to use…
What All Great Stories Are About
Hidden at the core of every story that really moves me — every story has depth and character and sustains my interest — is the same quest. It’s the struggle for self-knowledge. And any story, no matter how well constructed or crafted that isn’t (in some way) about a character’s self-discovery, feels two-dimensional and cheap…
Eating Books
A wonderful quote from E.M. Forster’s, “Aspects of the Novel” Books have to be read (worse luck, for it takes a long time); it is the only way of discovering what they contain. A few savage tribes eat them, but reading is the only method of assimilation revealed to the west. I swear, if eating…
This is simply magnificent! (HT Bad Astronomer)
While watching this by myself I spontaneously broke into applause. Posted via email from PatrickEMcLean’s Posterous
Top 10 Things You Never Want to Hear a Zombie Say.
#10 Mnnnnghhaaaa #9 Guahhhhhhh #8 Blllllaggghrhahhhhhhhh #7 Burggggggggurp #6 Slargggggggggg-geck #5 Auuuuuuuuuuughhmft #4 Fksssssssssaaaaaaargle #3 Rowwwwwwwwwwwwwl #2 Braaaaaaaaains #1 *burp* Posted via email from PatrickEMcLean’s Posterous
Don Shula Eats People.
Don’t do this: Don’t advertise a restaurant with the suggestion that Cannibalism is an essential part of the good life that we’ve all somehow been missing. “Yes, Ethel, have a nibble of this Bohemian and then a sip of the Pino. A divine pairing isn’t it?” Posted via email from PatrickEMcLean’s Posterous
Announcing Unkillable. New Novel coming in October.
If you’ve been wondering what Patrick has been working on, here’s the scoop: He’s been working on talking about himself in the 3rd person and on a new novel called Unkillable. (Because talking about yourself in the 3rd person is kind of lame, the rest of this post will be about the novel.) Unkillable is…
I so wish I had thought of this.
http://gizmodo.com/5616783/zipper-motorboat-unzips-the-oceans-jeans Posted via email from PatrickEMcLean’s Posterous
Please don’t write like this.
Things happen. Then there are results. The word that should be used in the last sentence of this awful copy is “happens” As it stands, this is simply barbarous. Posted via email from PatrickEMcLean’s Posterous
How and Why to Blog — August 24 1:30-4:30
How and Why to Blog (and Twitter and Facebook and LinkedIn) August 24th, 1:30-4:30 am @ Interact Studio The world has changed. The way we communicate as organizations and individuals will never be the same. So what do you do about it? You recognize that you have a tremendous power to create and distribute content….
The dangers of being quotable?
I love Sam Boykin for leading with my quote. And not just because it’s my quote. Because it’s true. Business networking events do blow. Here’s his article on the first Ignite Charlotte:
A new keyboard, glorious and powerful.
Once upon a time, I had a 1966 Chrysler 300. A durable goods item from a vanished age it was. This Chrysler, in addition to having a 383 cu inch engine (an engine, which, in and of itself is bigger than than a Toyota Prius) had something called torque-flight suspension. I won’t bore you with…
Where do ideas come from? August 4th?
So I just finished my slides for the 1st Ignite Charlotte. And I couldn’t be more excited about my talk, “Where do Ideas Come From.” The event is free if you RSVP here: http://www.ignitecharlotte.org/rsvp-tickets/ If you don’t know about Ignite, you should. It’s a collection of short talks, 20 slides, 15 seconds a slide. I…
Writing a lot of television spots today.
Posted via email from PatrickEMcLean’s Posterous
At lunch I read the future in floating grains of rice.
Posted via email from PatrickEMcLean’s Posterous
Don’t ever use this word.
Even if you don’t respect the language, at least have some respect for yourself. Posted via email from PatrickEMcLean’s Posterous
Captain Ahab: Old School Badass
I’m re-reading Moby Dick. Happened to pick it up this weekend and it sucked me right in. (The fact that I picked it up on a Kindle and also got sucked into buying a Kindle will be the subject for another post, I’m sure.) But here is one of my favorite passages: That’s more than…
You want to know what professionalism is?
I think Penn Jillette has the answer: No matter what, you perform. http://bigthink.com/ideas/20807 Posted via email from PatrickEMcLean’s Posterous
“Be sure of this…” What a great line.
Re-reading Moby Dick on a Kindle. I forgot how magnificent this book really is. (I’m enjoying the device as well.) Posted via email from PatrickEMcLean’s Posterous
Oh, TerraCotta Buddha hears you…
…he just doesn’t TerraCotta care. Posted via email from PatrickEMcLean’s Posterous
Real-time and other kinds
A friend emailed me with a slightly snarky usage question about the compound adjective “real-time”. He asked, “Is there any other kind of time?” Of course, he’s absolutely right, it is a pretty hollow and meaningless lump of letters, but it did get me to thinking. Off the top of my head I came up…
The Universal Error of Our Technologically Hypnotized Age
We like to focus on the tools we use to communicate more than the messages we are trying send. We don’t say, “I’m going to spread my message,” we say, “I’m going to send an email,” or “I’ll make a call.” It is the universal error of our technologically hypnotized age. And it makes things…
War Metaphors are Never the Answer.
Either Time magazine needs to be slapped or the US Army needs to change it’s strategy. Either way, I can’t advise using war metaphors for anything other than war.
Why the Seanachai had to Come to an End
There are three reasons. 1) Old projects have to end for new projects to begin. 2) A 10 minute funny/interesting little audio bit on the internet can’t really evolve. It will only ever be a 10 minute funny/interesting little audio bit. 3) The name was a problem, as so eloquently pointed out by Scott Sigler…
My First Book in Print
It’s got an ISBN number. It’s even available on Amazon. It’s all kinds of awesome. It’s called “Stories I Told Myself” and it features the best of my work on the Seanachai Podcast. It also includes two never before released stories. “Getting Shot” the story of me, well, getting shot when I lived in L.A….
Patrick on the Dead Robots Society Podcast
Featuring me. P.G. Holyfield, Justin Macumber and a sharp-witted Terry Mixon. It’s all about how to podcast and it’s available here: http://tinyurl.com/DRSep121
A Wake for the Seanachai — March 24th 9pm
Download promo So, I’m driving home one night and I get shot. Twice with one bullet, actually. It’s not a joke, it’s a true story. And like all true stories that don’t end in death, it is ultimately a comedy. On March 24th at 9 pm I am going to read this story live on…
The Third Wave of Literacy
I believe we just entered what I call the Third Wave of Literacy. It’s tough to pinpoint this occurrence exactly – it’s not like anybody blew a whistle – but as I look back from the dizzying technological height of 2010, here are the divisions I can see. The First Wave In the first wave,…
How to Succeed in Evil in a nutshell.
Okay, boys, this is the week we knock over the barn. Uh boss? Why a barn again? Because that’s where the blue bag is, you idiot. Remember: everyone wear suits, so we’ll stand out in a rural setting. Then we’ll meet up right under the big metal grain chute. And there it is, “Why a…
Going all Old Testament on the Language
Judges 12:6 Then said they unto him, Say now Shibboleth: and he said Sibboleth: for he could not frame to pronounce [it] right. Then they took him, and slew him at the passages of Jordan: and there fell at that time of the Ephraimites forty and two thousand. This is the oldest example that I…
As if there weren’t enough adjectives in the ad…
Posted via email from PatrickEMcLean’s Posterous
Why I fear the iPad will disappoint.
There is a lot of hype about the iPad. I am skeptical for many reasons, but all of my fancy arguments were just trumped by an email Apple just sent me. At the very top was this: After reading this sentence I have become afraid for Apple. It smacks of sales-ly desperation. Because if that’s…
I wrote -18,000 words today.
No seriously. I read Italo Calvino’s essay on Quickness. Got very excited, cut 20,000 words out of Unkillable. (which will make it stronger, shorter and allow me to finish it faster.) Then I wrote 2000 more words. 2000-20,000 = -18,000. At this rate I’l have no story at all by the end of the week…
I AM CORRUPTING YOUTH!
Some fine folks that I don’t know posted this video to YouTube of their adorable child. In the comments, they mentioned that the audio in the background was Patrick E. McLean’s “How to Succeed in Evil.” I’m not sure how to feel about my voice screaming obscenities and hilarities at a child, so I will default to AWESOME!…
The Reason to Practice an Art
It occurs to me, how much of my life I have spent in the practice of an art. As I write it, the word ‘art’ seems ladened with incorrect connotations. It seems more correct to describe the process as a craft. There is, to be certain, an art of writing. But to get to the…
“The Road to Hell is Paved with Adverbs”
January isn’t even over yet and I can already see that 2010 is going to be a HUGE year. One of the things that I’m very excited about is that I’m going to get spend most of my time helping people improve their writing. This is a move that’s been four years in the making…
Fifteen Kinds of Snow It Would Be Useful to Have Names for
There is a popular story that says that Eskimos have many different words to describe many different kinds of snow. It is a total hoax. Which is a shame, because the idea has a certain magic to it. Fifteen Kinds of Snow that It Would Be Useful to Have Names for: The damp, back-killing snow…
George Orwell’s Six Rules for Saving the Language (and the World)
The world doesn’t make much sense to me. Or, more precisely, the sense that the world makes to others is not the sense it makes to me. Nowhere is this more evident in the use and abuse of language. Language of any kind is a slippery, imperfect instrument at best. And if we want to get…
Autumn Day
Autumn Day by Rainer Maria Rilke Lord: it is time. The summer was immense. Lay your shadow on the sundials and let loose the wind in the fields. Bid the last fruits to be full; give them another two more southerly days, press them to ripeness, and chase the last sweetness into the heavy wine….
The Pomodoro Technique (for writers)
So I’ve been using something called the Pomodoro Technique to help me in my writing. It’s been nothing short of amazing. On the surface, it’s very simple. You block out 25 minutes to work, crank up a kitchen timer and only focus on that task until the timer rings. But I have found it to…
Why is this doll winking at me?
So this little guy is the original weeble-wobble. His name is Daruma and this is his home on my desk. There is a weight in his paper-mache base, so if you knock him over he stands back up again. He is modeled after a legendary monk named Bodhidarma. Like all legendary characters, there are a…
The Toughest Trees Ever
I’ve become fascinated by trees. I’ve always liked them. But David Allen Sibley’s “Guide to Trees” has really sparked my interest. If you see me out and about, and I’m staring at a tree, it’s not because I’ve gone any farther off the deep end. It’s my new curiosity. So the other day, on my…
An Early Morning Update.
I’m up early this morning. And, for the hell of it, I decided to record a video episode. Now that How to Succeed in Evil the Novel is done, I’m compiling an anthology of stories from The Seanachai. It’s going to be titled, “Stories I Told Myself” As a learning experience I’m going to self-publish…
